How It Should Be
by Ziko
Summary: Rory's reaction to Tristan leaving after Run Away Little Boy.(TRORY-eventually)
1. U Got It Bad

1 Title: How It Should Be  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything (although owning Chad would be nice). Please don't sue I have no money!  
  
Summary: Read and find out. I suck at summaries and will give away the story if I give one.  
  
A/N: This is my first GG fic. Please give me feedback!!!  
  
  
  
How it Should Be  
  
Part 1/?  
  
U Got it Bad  
  
  
  
Rory felt like she couldn't breathe. It hit her all at once when she got home from the play. *Tristan's gone.* Just like that he was out of her life. As she lay quietly on her bed she couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't done anything. Why she hadn't told him that she didn't care about Dean watching them, that he should kiss her anyways. Tears were welling up in her eyes when she realized she would never get the chance to tell him how much she really did care about him and that she never hated him. *I will not cry over Tristan. There wasn't anything there. He never thought of me as anything more than Mary, someone to tease and torment.* She knew it wasn't true, but still she tried to convince herself it was. Everytime she had looked in his eyes she had seen something burning deep within there and longed desperately to find out what it was. *I can't do this to myself. I have Dean, and he's not going anywhere. He loves me and I.* She couldn't even finch the thought which upset her even more. She was choking back sobs. She knew she wouldn't be able to stop crying if she let herself now. So she forced herself to think of anything except Tristan. It was no use her brain didn't seem to want to listen to her. *Why hadn't we ever gotten to the kissing part in rehearsals? I wanted- no needed to feel his lips on mine again even if it was for school and he never thought of it again. I need him in my life. He challenges me like no one else does. He never let's me rest when we're at school, but that's half the fun. Just having him there to argue with was enough.* Realization struck Rory like a bolt of lightning.  
  
"I love you Tristan," she whispered into the night. Finally she allowed the tears to flow. Crying herself to sleep she kept wondering what she was going to do about Dean.  
  
********  
  
Rory got up slowly; last night she had had the strangest dream. It was right before she and Tristan were supposed to do Romeo and Juliet. He had come up to her and Paris and announced he was going to military school for braking into a safe. Then he had left without even giving her a goodbye kiss. Tears pricked her eyes when she realized it hadn't been a dream that Tristan was really gone. He was gone and she didn't know what she was going to do. Furiously she tried to wipe the tears away that were falling down her cheeks. It didn't work and she was still crying when she walked downstairs after her shower. Lorelei looked up from her coffee when she heard Rory enter the room. Immediately she noticed the tears.  
  
"Hun, what's wrong?" She asked, walking up and wrapping her arms around her daughter. Rory just buried her head in Lorelei's shoulder. For once in her life Lorelei was speechless. She had never seen Rory this upset, not even after that party when she had finally decided to wallow over Dean. When Rory managed to calm down considerably Lorelei sat her down at one of the kitchen chairs. "Ok so are you ready to tell me what's got you so upset?" Rory shook her head.  
  
"I can't talk about it right now. I just need to sort some things out." Even though Lorelei knew Rory should talk about it she wasn't going to push. "That's fine, but when you do feel like talking I'm right here." Rory nodded. She ate a pop tart, and grabbed a cup of coffee that she ingested quickly before grabbing the keys to the Jeep and heading out the door.  
  
Throughout the ride to Chilton Rory kept her composure fairly well. Her mind too consumed with thoughts of school and the road infront of he. When she saw the looming building ahead she almost broke down, but refused to let any of the Chiltonites see how upset she was over Tristan's departure. After parking the jeep she rushed into the school, making a beeline for her locker. She heaved a sigh of relief having yet to run into Paris, yet she knew her luck wouldn't last much longer, and eventually the Ice Queen would find her. When she shut her locker Paris was standing on the other side staring at her coldly.  
  
"Speak of the devil." She muttered under her breath. If it was possible Paris' stare got even colder.  
  
"What did you say?" She snapped.  
  
"Nothing Paris. What do you want? I'm really not in the mood to argue with you today."  
  
"I just thought you should know that we got an A on Rome and Juliet."  
  
"Thank you for telling me, now if you'll excuse me I have to get to class." Before she had a chance to get away Paris grabbed her arm.  
  
"Just ONE more thing. Are you happy? Are you happy he's gone? Are you happy that Tristan's gone so now I don't have a hope of a chance?" At the mention of Tristan's name Rory felt herself start to break down.  
  
"I have no idea what your talking about Paris. Just leave me ALONE!" She yanked her arm away and sprinted down the hall.  
  
The rest of the day dragged by for Rory, who spent most of it in a daze, not being able to keep her head on schoolwork. When the last bell rang she gratefully trudged to her locker before heading out to the Jeep and back to Stars Hollow.  
  
********  
  
Rory parked the Jeep, and then walked into Luke's. As she sat down she thumped her head down onto the counter. She then held her hands up like she was begging for money. Luke walked up, looking at her strangely.  
  
"Uh Rory? You're beginning to scare the customers."  
  
"Coffee." Was the only response she gave.  
  
"Not until you tell me what's wrong. Because something obviously is." Rory groaned.  
  
"Bad day, now will you please give me some coffee."  
  
"Fine," he huffed. "You do know that this stuff will kill you one day right?" Rory smiled.  
  
"I know, but I'll love every minute of it." Luke muttered something under his breath before walking off to serve the other people in the diner. Rory gulped down the coffee just as Lorelei burst through the door.  
  
"COFFEE!!" She exclaimed.  
  
"Hi mom, it's nice to see you too." Rory laughed.  
  
"Hey hun. You feeling better now?"  
  
"Yeah actually I am. Luke gave me coffee with almost no arguments." Lorelei gasped.  
  
"What did you do??"  
  
"Thumped my head onto the counter." Her mom looked thoughtful.  
  
"Too painful. I'll just use regular tactics." She cleared her throat. "Oh Luke!!" He walked up.  
  
"You hollered?"  
  
"Coffee please," she flashed him a grin.  
  
"Alright, here you go." He said putting a mug in front of her and filling it up. Lorelei looked at him like he had three heads.  
  
"Are you feeling alright??" She put a hand up to his head. "You're not running a fever." He brushed her hand away.  
  
"I'm fine. Just felt like giving you the day off from begging for coffee. If you're complaining about it I could always take it away." He reached towards her mug. She snatched it away quickly.  
  
"No I'm not complaining. Why would I complain about getting coffee?" Rory looked at the two and smiled. She wondered how long it would take her mom to realize how in love Luke was with her. Suddenly Luke's expression soured.  
  
"Bagboy." He snapped bitterly. Rory stiffened at Luke's nickname for Dean. Lorelei noticed the reaction, but for once she kept her mouth shut.  
  
"Hey Rory." He greeted happily, kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"H-hi Dean." She murmured. *Come on Rory you can do this just pull yourself together. * Dean put his arm around her waist and Rory had to force herself to repress a shudder.  
  
"Whatcha doing tonight?" He whispered into her ear.  
  
"Nothing," she muttered. She knew what was coming next.  
  
"Want to got to a movie tonight?"  
  
"Sure, I'd love to." She replied through clenched teeth.  
  
"Great!" Dean exclaimed, totally oblivious. When he was gone, Rory felt like she was going to be sick.  
  
"Mom, I'm gonna head home. I'm not feeling very good, can you take the Jeep?"  
  
"Yeah sure babe." Lorelei replied sympathetically.  
  
After handing her mom the keys to the Jeep Rory practically sprinted home. By the time she got there she was gasping for breath, which was only partially because of running. Emotions were flowing through her so fast she couldn't think straight. Finally when she calmed down slightly she began to get ready for her date. *What's wrong with me?* She thought looking in the mirror. *This shouldn't be happening. I'm not supposed to care this much. He's not supposed to make me feel this way. * By the time Dean came to pick her up she was still arguing with herself. She still had no idea what she was going to do.  
  
The drive to Hartford was spent in silence. When they got out of the car Dean grabbed Rory's hand, and she flinched. At his look of confusion she smiled.  
  
"You startled me."  
  
Rory ad a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as they walked into the lobby of the theater, still she let Dean lead her through the throngs of people. Looking around she grimaced, seeing people she knew from school. They were whispering in small groups, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. *Probably gossip about Tristan. *  
  
The movie seemed to drag by for Rory, who couldn't keep her thoughts straight. She almost sighed in relief when the closing credits started to roll.  
  
Rory squinted so her eyes could adjust to the brightness in the lobby. *I can't go home yet. If I go home there's nothing for me to do to keep myself occupied. Not being occupied means thoughts of Tristan. * Quickly she grabbed Deans arm. Effectively stopping him from walking out into the parking lot.  
  
"Dean, I'm not ready to go home yet." At his dumbfounded look, Rory began grasping at straws trying to come up with reasons not to go back to Stars Hollow. "Can we go for ice-cream? Please?"  
  
"Uh sure. Do you know a place we can go?" Rory thought quickly.  
  
"Yeah. There's a place just down the street." Rory had been trying really hard all night to hide how upset she was, but as they sat down in the ice-cream parlor Dean finally picked up on it.  
  
"Rory is something wrong?" Panic filled her eyes.  
  
"Yeah of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"I don't know, but you've been tense since I picked you up."  
  
"It's nothing, just stress form school. You know how it is." Jut at that moment their milkshakes arrived. Rory was grateful for the distraction and dived enthusiastically into hers. Dean stirred his distractedly.  
  
"I thought that with Tristan gone you would have basically a stress free life at Chilton."  
  
"Yeah you'd think." She murmured. Just then the door opened and in walked Paris, followed closely by Madeline and Louise. *As if my day couldn't get any worse. The clouds open up and god says ha! * Quickly she slurped up the last of her shake.  
  
"Dean can we go? I should be getting back. Mom wants me to help her with some stuff for the Inn." Rory didn't want to go yet however; she couldn't risk Paris seeing her. He nodded still looking at her like she was keeping something from him, and they slipped out quietly.  
  
Rory lent her head against the window. The cool glass helped calm her nerves slightly. As it had for most of the day, Fate decided to hate her just as they were driving into Stars Hollow.  
  
When you feel it in your body  
  
You've found somebody who  
  
Makes you change your ways  
  
Like hanging with your crew  
  
Said you act like your ready  
  
But you don't really know  
  
And everything in your past-you wanna let it go  
  
I've been there done it fucked around  
  
After all that this is what I've found  
  
Nobody wants to be alone  
  
If you're touched by the words in this song  
  
Then baby.  
  
You got it you got it bad  
  
When you're on the phone  
  
Hang up and you call right back  
  
You got it you got it bad  
  
When you miss a day without your friend  
  
Your whole life's off track  
  
You know you got it bad  
  
When you're stuck in the house  
  
You don't wanna have fun  
  
It's all you think about  
  
You got it bad  
  
When you're out with someone  
  
But you keep on think 'bout somebody else  
  
You got it bad  
  
When you say that you love em  
  
And you really know everything that used to matter  
  
It don't matter no more  
  
Like my money all my cars  
  
(You can have it all back)  
  
Flowers cards and candy  
  
(I do it just cause I'm.)  
  
Said I'm fortunate to have you girl  
  
I want you to know I really adore you  
  
All my people who know what's going on  
  
Look at your mate help me sing my song  
  
Tell her I'm your man, you're my girl  
  
I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world  
  
Ladies say I'm your girl you're my man  
  
Promise to love you the best I can  
  
See I've been there done it fucked around  
  
After all that this is what I've found  
  
Every one of y'all are just like me  
  
It's too bad that you can't see  
  
That you got it bad...hey  
  
You got it you got it bad  
  
When you're on the phone  
  
Hang up and you call right back  
  
You got it you got it bad  
  
When you miss a day without your friend  
  
Your whole life's off track  
  
You know you got it bad  
  
When you're stuck in the house  
  
You don't wanna have fun  
  
It's all you think about  
  
You got it bad  
  
When you're out with someone  
  
But you keep on think 'bout somebody else  
  
You got it bad  
  
BREAKDOWN  
  
You got it you got it bad  
  
When you're on the phone  
  
Hang up and you call right back  
  
You got it you got it bad  
  
When you miss a day without your friend  
  
Your whole life's off track  
  
You know you got it bad  
  
When you're stuck in the house  
  
You don't wanna have fun  
  
It's all you think about  
  
You got it bad  
  
When you're out with someone  
  
But you keep on think 'bout somebody else  
  
You got it bad  
  
The song ended, and Rory burst into tears. Dean looked over at her, seeing her distress he grabbed her hand.  
  
"Rory are you alright? What's wrong?" She sniffed.  
  
"I'm fine, just a bad day coming crashing down on me all of a sudden." She noticed they weren't headed in the direction of her house. "Dean, where are you going?"  
  
"I thought we could stop by Luke's and get a cup of coffee."  
  
"No I told you I had to get home and I meant it." She was getting even more upset.  
  
"Come on Rory, Lorelei won't mind." she cut him off.  
  
"NO! Take me home!! NOW!!" She yelled. Fresh tears streaming down her face. Abruptly Dean turned the car around and drove towards her house.  
  
Immediately when his truck pulled up to the curb she jumped out. She began running towards her house not bothering to respond to him calling her. She reached the door but because of how open. Just as she was about to give up, it finally opened and she rushed inside. Slamming the door shut she collapsed on the floor and curled herself up as small as she could. With all her might she tried to will the tears away even though she knew it was no use. Her life was spiraling out of control and she was powerless to stop it.  
  
End part 1, U Got it Bad. 


	2. All I Want Is You

Title: How it Should Be  
  
Part 2, All I Want Is You  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Jason, blah blah blah. The song belongs to Maren Ord.  
  
Summary: Tristan at military school. This takes place about a week after part 1.  
  
Rating: PG-13, some swearing  
  
Authors Note: Even though the titles of my chapters are going to be song titles does not mean they are going to be sonfics. Most of them will only use a line from the songs, or the titles etc.  
  
*= thoughts  
  
  
  
Part 2: All I Want Is You  
  
Tristan lay on his bed, idly staring at the ceiling. His roommate was sound asleep, as he should be but he was wound to tight. He couldn't seem to get her out of his head. She invaded his thoughts every waking moment, and he couldn't escape even when he slept, which consequently didn't happen very often. Rory Gilmore. The name brought a smile to his face every time it flitted through his mind. *Come on Dugrey!! You can't keep pining over her like a love sick fool!! You don't even know when your gonna see her again!!*  
  
Tristan groaned and rolled over. He knew this was getting him nowhere, yet that never stopped him. *So what if your miles away from me? I can't ponder on you forever. I need to know how you feel Rory.* Looking at the clock he saw it was 1:30. *Great just great. I have to get up in five hours, and yet again I have gotten absolutely no sleep.* His eyes swept towards the clock again. Instead of the digital numbers, he saw his note book. *Write her a letter!! Of course.* At that moment screeched to a halt. *That's right and as soon as she sees the return address she'll burn it!! No even better she'll get Dean to burn it!! I'll bet he'll enjoy that* Mentally he slapped himself.  
  
"Get a grip!! Your letting your imagination get away with you. Write the letter, but don't send it to her. Yeah that's what I'll do. OK and now I'm talking to myself. I have officially gone insane." Quickly he picked up his note book and pen. Before he could think to stop himself, his hand began to flash across the page.  
  
Dear Rory,  
  
You must be surprised that I even know your name, Just kidding. So how's life in Chilton? Does Paris still hate you? I am sorry about that you know. I'm sorry for everything I put you through last year. You didn't deserve any of it. Ok now that the mushy apologies are out of the way.  
  
Military school is ok I guess. It's not much different from Chilton when I think about it. No girls though which is a shame(J/J). To be perfectly honest I hate it so far. The 6:30 wake up calls are killer. And the worst part about them is that we don't get any coffee(The horror I know).  
  
So, how's Dean?? This is the part of the letter where I'm trying to make polite conversation even if I don't like the topic. Because you of all people know my feelings towards Dean.  
  
This next part would be the hardest part for Tristan to write. He wanted to tell her how he felt without scaring her. *Your not sending it to her remember.* All the same he wanted to write it like he was.  
  
Rory I- He what? Loved her? He did but that was beside the point. He missed her? Yeah that sounded like the right thing to say.  
  
I miss you. You made Chilton interesting. For you it wasn't the same as for anyone else. You didn't feel the need step on people to get want you wanted. You were just you. This whole thing is probably making no sense to you so I should stop here before it gets to be completely incoherent. If you don't want to reply I would understand.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Tristan  
  
Slowly he put down his pen. The clock now read 3 o'clock. *I can't believe I've been writing that long.* His eyelids began to flutter shut, so he quickly put the letter into an envelope and addressed it. After that he fell into the first contented sleep he'd had in months.  
  
The next morning passed by as usual. This morning though Tristan felt lighter, as if a gigantic weight had been lifted off his chest. Even with his new found elation, he was exhausted by the time lunch rolled around. As he sat down at the table with his roommate Jason, he could barely keep his eyes open.  
  
"Hey Tris. What the hell happened to you?? This morning you couldn't stop smiling and now you looked like you want to drop dead on the spot." Tristan groaned.  
  
"I was up till 3 last nigh."  
  
"Ouch. You know you really need to start getting more sleep. That still doesn't explain the smiling."  
  
"I got something done I should have gotten done awhile ago."  
  
"Did it have anything to do with the letter you had sitting on your alarm clock?" Asked Jason.  
  
"Yeah I wrote that for a- friend i guess you could say. I'm not actually gonna send it, but i t felt good to get my thoughts down onto paper." When Tristan said this Jason started choking on his water.  
  
"Oh shit!!" Tristan glared at him.  
  
"What the hell did you do this time??"  
  
"I might have mailed that letter."  
  
"Oh no!! Don't tell me that."  
  
"How was I supposed to know? It was just sitting there and I assumed..."  
  
"Have you eer heard the phrase 'to assume is to make an ass out of you and me'? Well it fits perfectly here." For the remaining portion of lunch Tristan stared blankly at the food on his tray.  
  
The rest of the day was the day from hell for Tristan. All the clocks mocked him, seeming to get slower every time he glanced at them. By the time he got back to his room he was ready to kill almost everyone.  
  
"Hey Tris-" The death glare shot at him shut Jason up mid sentence. Tristan stormed over to his bed, flopped down and shoved his face into the pillow. Jason decided to try again. "Ok Tristan I have something to say, but you have to promise not to kill me." When Tristan grunted he took that as a yes. "I really don't think this is as bad as you make it out to be."  
  
"I basically told this girl that I love her."  
  
"Ok I have yet to see what's so bad about this."  
  
"She hates me."  
  
"Oh. It still might not be that bad." The dinner bell rang and Jason rushe dout of the room. *I really hope so.*  
  
End Part 2, All I Want Is You. 


	3. Can't Trust Myself

Title: How It Should Be 

Part 3, Can't trust Myself

Author: Ziko

Rating: PG-13(to be safe)

Summary: Reactions after "Run Away Little Boy"

Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long, I was busy over the holidays and now school is a pain in the a**. This is to the reviewers. I love the reviews but try to be nice this is basically me raging cause I REALLY didn't like that episode. I know that Rory wouldn't act like she is and neither would Tristan, but it is MY story.

Part 3, Can't Trust Myself:

Rory sat on her porch, absently staring into the steaming mug of coffee in front of her. The past couple of weeks had been an extreme emotional roller coaster ride for her and now she was exhausted. One day she would be on top of the world on cloud nine, but in another instant she would be steaming mad, or depressed. She didn't know what was going on. *Well I know what's going on, but i don't understand why. I mean it's only Tristan!!* The worst part of it was that she had no idea who to turn to to help her out. *Lane? Nope that's no good. She would ask to many questions, and I'm not ready for that. Mom? I don't know if I could sit her down for a serious conversation but she would have the best advice. OK mom it is.* 

She stood up, trying to work the tension out of her muscles before heading inside. Lorelei being Lorelei had been spying on Rory the whole time. When Rory came in she saw her mom trying to look busy.

"It's ok mom. I knew you were spying on me."

"What me spy on my only child??" Lorelei exclaimed with exaggerated innocence. Rory arched her eyebrow. "Ok so I was. But you've been all mopey lately. Well not ALL mopey. SOmetimes you'd be really happy and then you'd go back to being mopey!!" Rory laughed.

"It's ok mom, it's just been a weird couple weeks for me. I do need to talk with you about it though." At this lorelei got really excited.

"Ooh, girl talk!! You stay here and get comfortable while I get popcorn and coffee!!" Rory shook her head, laughing at her mom's antics.

Finally Lorelei returned bowl and mug in hand. She set both down so she got get to the task of getting comfortable on the couch. "OK, so what's the what??" Rory launched into her story, by the end her mom looked thoughtful. 

"Why is this so confusing?? That's where you lost me."

"There's no way for me to make a decision!!" Rory exclaimed. 

"Why not??" Lorelei looked perplexed.

"Because I can't trust myself. I mean I have Dean who loves me so much and he's great, but then there's Tristan, who exciting and challenging. Aggravating all the same but definetly exciting. The problem is that he shouldn't even be a choice at all!! I mean 1, he tormented me all last year and made my life hell and 2, he's at military school!! I don't even know if I'll ever see him again!!" Rory was starting to get hysterical. Lorelei quickly put down the popcorn and wrapped her arms around her daughter who was now sobbing. "I c-can't trust m-myself because what if I make the wrong decision? I don't know what I'd do!!"

"Hey calm down. Just do what your heart says. It'll be hard but in th end it will be the right choice."

"Thanks mom. I just wish that there was something to make this easier."

"I know hun, I know." Lorelei let her eyes scan the living room, where they sat. She noticed an envelope poking out from underneath a pile of magazines. She slapped her head. 

"What's wrong?"

"Well I might have something to help your decision." Slowly she reached for the letter. "Tristan did get sent to military school in North Carolina didn't he?"

"Yeah he did. Why?" Asked Rory, getting suspicious.

"Well you might have gotten a letter a couple days ago from him." Rory gasped in shock. In Lorelei's hand was indeed a letter from Tristan.

"Mom!! Why didn't you give the to me sooner?"

"Well when you got it you were in serious mopey mod, so I put it on the coffee table. I wanted to make some coffee, but the coffee machine wasn't working-"

"Plugging it in helps."

"Quiet you. As I was saying, so then I had to go to Lukes but Lo he wouldn't give me any.. Then came the inevitable argument followed by begging and a steaming mug full of coffee. Then when I came home we decided to watch movies."

"So basically you forgot."

"Just kinda." Lorelei replied sheepishly. 

"Well thanks for remembering now. The only problem is that i don't know if I can do this." Her mom patted her shoulder.

"Take all the time you need. I'm gonna look over some stuff for the inn so I'll leave you alone." As she stood up she kissed Rory on the forehead. "Just remember, let your heart decide.

"THanks mom." Lorelei smiled, and continued onto the kitchen.

Rory sat silently tracing her fingers over the address. Mustering up her courage she flipped it over. Though she was nervous she couldn't help but laugh as she saw that MARY had been carefully srawled on the back of the envelope. 

Her hands began to tremble as she moved to open the letter. *Breathe Rory. You can do this. It's just a letter. Just calm down and breathe.* With that though planted firmly in her head she tore open the envelope.

End Part 3, Can't Trust Myself.

AN: I know that was a bad place to end, but I was writing this at midnight and my idea ran out. 


	4. Too Bad

**Title:** How It Should Be

**Part 4, **

**Rating:** PG-13 (though it is at the top of the page so I have no clue why I put this in)

**Disclaimer:  **You know the drill!!****

**Summary:** My take on what should happen after "Run Away Little Boy"

**A/N:** ok I'm soooooooo sorry this took me so long to put out!!  First there was school stuff then there was home stuff and then I had it written but was too lazy to type it up and post it!!  Anyways here's the story!!

**WAIT!!!!!!  KATE!!!  HAPPY NOW I POSTED IT FINALLY!!!!**

**    **    **    **

"I can't do this!!!  It's just too damn hard!!"  Rory exclaimed, throwing down the letter she held.  

            For the past half hour she had been **trying** to talk herself into reading Tristan's letter.  So far it hadn't been working.  Now extremely frustrated she stormed around the room searching frantically for the phone.  Triumphantly she pulled her hand out form between the cushions of the couch bearing the phone.  Rory quickly dialed Lane's number.  As she was waiting for someone to pick up she tried to rationalize why this letter was bugging her so much.   

            "Hello."  The person on the other end snapped.

            "Hi Mrs. Kim, it's Rory.  May I please speak to Lane?"  

            "She's studying."

            "It will only take a few minutes.  Please??"   There was a pause.

            "Fine.  You have 3 minutes, I'm timing."    Rory sighed in relief.  After a couple seconds Lane's voice was heard.

            "Hey!  What's up??"  She inquired.

            "I need your help.  Is there any way that your mom would let you come over here for a sleepover?"

            "I'm sure I could swing it.  Is something wrong?"  

            "I'll explain when you get here."

            "K.  Well I better go.  I'll need all the time I can get for negotiating with my mom." 

            After hanging up Rory collapsed onto the couch.  Her life, which had seemed so perfect just a short time ago was now more, complicated than she ever thought possible.  She groaned, hearing the insistent ringing of the phone.  She picked it up slowly before answering it. 

            "Hullo."  She moaned.  

            "Rory?  Is that you?"  Dean asked Rory.  Immediately she felt guilty.

            "Yeah it's me."  She replied hesitantly.

            "You ok??  You sound kinda upset."  

            "No I'm perfectly fine!!"

            "Ok well I was wondering, since we haven't been able to spend much time together lately, we could go to a movie tonight?" Rory was quickly becoming upset over what was happening.  Because In truth she had been avoiding Dean in order to try and sort out her feelings for Tristan.  It hadn't been working so far.

"I'd love to Dean I really would.  But mom Lane and I are having a girls night in kinda thing."  She heard a dejected sigh coming from the other end of the line.

            "OK I guess.  Y'know Rory, for the last couple of weeks you've seemed sorta distance.  What's been going on??"

            "School's been rough.  You know Chilton."

            "I just wish we could spend more time with each other."  Tears were pricking the corners of her eyes.

            "Yeah, me too." choked out.  "Look Dean I gotta go."  It was getting harder to hold back the tears now and she was just about to loose control.

            "Rory wait!!  What's wrong??"

            "It's nothing really.  I just have to go."  Not waiting for his reply she hung up the phone.  

            Trying really hard not to let herself give into her emotions, Rory began pacing back and forth across the living room floor.  ***Why is this happening to me?  Why am I having these thoughts??  I was perfectly happy until he showed up!!  This should be happening it isn't right!!***  The beginnings of a headache were steadily starting to get worse but she chose to ignore it.  

            From the doorway Lorelei watched her daughter thoughtfully.  ***Poor kid, this is really getting to her.  I wish there was something I could do to help.** * 

            As she was pacing Rory decided that she needed to get some air otherwise she was going to go nuts.

            "Mom!"  She called, startling Lorelei out of her reverie.

            "Yeah hun?"

            "I'm going for a walk.  I'll be back in a bit.  Oh and Lane might be coming here later."

            "Yeah ok."  The only response Lorelei got was the slamming of the back door.  "Yes of course Lane can come over.  Thanks for asking me first.  Y'know me being the parent and all!"  She looked around the empty house.  "Ok I'm talking to myself.  Time for coffee."

            Rory aimlessly walked through Stars Hollow not really paying attention to where she was going.  When she finally stopped she was standing on the edge of the lake that was behind the Independence Inn.  Picking up a rock she hurled it into the water.  She watched in satisfaction as it skipped across the surface several times before sinking.  For some time she continued doing this in silence, then she began putting words to the rocks.

            "Confusion."  Another rock flew from her hands.  "Attraction."  One more followed closely.  "Distress."  Yet another.  "Tristan."  She threw this one as hard as she could as if trying to get it as far away from her as possible.  

            She gathered up a number of small stones and began throwing them in a flurry of motion.  "Love, hate pain, anger, Dean Chilton, stress, tear, sadness, joy, endings, possibilities."  The last of the stones didn't even skim the surface the just sunk straight to the bottom of the lake.  Throughout she had been trying to get her mind **OFF** Tristan but all this served to do was make him a large presence in her head.  

            "Stupid Tristan.  You just had to send me that damn letter didn't you?  Just when I thought I could hide my feelings for you cause they were under control, you decide to write me that stupid letter!!  There are hundreds of girls in Chilton why couldn't he have written to one of them?"  She screamed up at the sky, trying to vent some anger.     "Paris would love to hear from you!!  But nooooo you couldn't write just anyone you had to go and pick me!!"  She slowly began to trudge back to her house. Hopefully Lane would be over soon.

            **    **    **    **

            Rory walked into her house but froze when she heard whispering voices coming form the kitchen.

            "I'm worried about her.  She's really upset, and I just** KNOW **it has something to do with Tristan."  The murmured reply was lost on Rory.

            "Mom??  Lane??  You guys here??"  Quickly she headed for the kitchen.  Both Lane and her mom were sitting at the table eating popcorn.  "Hey guys.  What were you just talking about??"

            "Nothing."  "You."  They replied in unison.  Lorelei glared at Lane.

            "The point of a secret conversation is that the person said conversation is about is not supposed to know!!"  Lorelei screeched.  Rory was trying really hard not to laugh at the look on her mothers face.

            "Mom, I would have found out sooner or later."

            "Good point.  Ok so now out with it.  What's been up with out lately??"

            "Yeah your mom said it had something to do with Tristan but she wouldn't elaborate."  

            Rory joined them at the table and recalled the events of the past two weeks.  She went through everything.  How she had realized her feelings for Tristan, her total meltdown on her date with Dean and finally getting the letter.  "Well what's the verdict??  What should I do??"  Lane looked at Lorelei and nodded.

            "Open the letter!!"  They both exclaimed.

"Did either of you hear a word I've said so far??  I tried, and I couldn't do it!!"

            "Yes but now you have moral support."  Coaxed Lane.  Reluctantly Rory picked dup the envelope and opened it.  Her eyes had to read over the words three times before she actually comprehended them. 

            "He missies me."  She murmured, more to herself than to anyone else.

            "I'm sensing a 'but' coming along."  Lorelei quipped.  Rory chewed on her lip in concentration.

            "I don't know.  This just doesn't seem like Tristan.  He is never this open with his feelings.  It's almost if he wasn't writing this for me."

            "Then who did he write it for??"  A very confused Lane asked.  Rory shook her head.  

            "Nevermind.  It's just me being weird."  She laughed.  

            "I don't know why that took you so long.  It wasn't that hard was it??"

            "You just needed the right support with you.  So are you gonna write him back or what??" Questioned Lane.

            "Nah.  I'll wait awhile.  Tonight I want to eat to much junk food and drown my sorrows in sappy movies."

"Sounds like a plan to me!!"  Exclaimed Lorelei.  "Let's get this party started."

**    **    **    **

Rory purposely forgot about Tristan and the letter during the course of the night.  She instead focused all her energy on relaxing wit Lane and Lorelei.  At 3 am all three girls were thoroughly exhausted and instead of trying to get their bedrooms they all fell asleep right where they were. 

                        **    **    **    **        

_Rory sat on a nondescript bench in a park she didn't recognize.  All around her there were people were milling around but she couldn't make out any of their faces.  Standing up she craned her head around trying to get a look of anything that was familiar or anything she could orient herself to.  _

_            She started to panic.  She had no idea where she was and the crowd was starting to close in on her, making it hard to breath.  They got even closer, jostling her.  Tears of frustration pricked at the corners of her eyes.  When she thought she would collapse into hysterics a hand reached out to her through the crowd.  Having no other options she grabbed it and held on tight as she was pulled towards the invisible body.  She was so intent on getting away she didn't notice when she slammed into her savior.  Immediately two strong arms encircled her and pulled her close, as she sobbed.  _

_            "Shhh it's ok.  Your fine Mary."  Her head snapped up when she heard the name.  She was met with a familiar smirk.  _

_            "Tristan?"  He smiled and nodded.  She then threw herself against him yet again.  After several minutes she looked up at him.  "You left without saying goodbye."  She observed quietly.  When he opened his mouth to contradict she put a finger to his lips.  "Although I sure you tried we never did get a proper farewell."  She reached up behind his neck and pulled his head down to hers. Briefly their lips met in a chaste and sweet kiss.  Rory was shocked at her on boldness.  When they pulled away she noticed he was fading.  She reached out to him but then there was blindingly white light all around.  As she squinted out ahead of her Rory saw Tristan had disappeared.  _

**    **    **    **

            Groaning Rory squinted into the bright ray of sunshine peaking through the curtains.  She muttered something incoherently before throwing the blankets over her head.  She hadn't even noticed her mom sitting on the coffee table staring at her.

            "Aha!!   I saw that!!  Your awake, I know it!!"  She screamed causing Rory to jump in surprise.

            "GO away mom!!"  She grumbled.  

            "No you're awake and I need somebody to talk to.  Lane went home already cause of her mom, and now I'm all alone.  There's no on here to guide me!!"  Rory threw off the blankets and scowled at her mother.

            "How much coffee have you had this morning?"

            "Four cups, but that's beside the point.  It's almost lunch and we're going to Luke's."  Rory squawked in outrage.

            "You woke me up before noon??  Minion of Satan what have you done with my mother??"

            "I'm no minion.  You're confusing me with Paris, although there really shouldn't be any confusion between the two of us.  Now up child!!  Be quick with you!!"  She replied indignantly, pulling Rory off the couch.  Rory reluctantly trudged up the stairs muttering under her breath as she went.  All Lorelei caught was 

"She owes me big.  And, "Not enough coffee in the world."

Rory stood under the stream of scalding water, and let it rinse away the remnants of sleep from her system.  Quickly she went to her room and got dressed.  She was walking past her dresser when she noticed the envelope form Tristan.  She picked it up and pulled out the letter.  As she ran her hands along the text her mother bounded into the room exuberantly.  

"Ready to go yet??"  The intrusion broke Rory out of her reverie.

            "What??  Oh yeah sure."  She replied quickly.  Without conscious thought she slipped the letter into her back pocket.****

**END PART 4!!!!**

**A/N: I'm too tired to write more but I promise the next chapter is coming soon very soon!!!  I already have it half written!!  R&R thnx!! **


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